14th Mar 2004 The advertisement said 'Mini size, maximum pleasure'... View large

Dear Sir,

I am confused. And hurt. And, not to put too fine a point on it, upset.

I was spending a few quiet minutes reading through some of my wife's magazines when I came across your company's advertisement for Magnum Mini ice creams.

On the page is some wet lipped vixen, eyes closed, dress and bra straps awry, clutching a partial eaten ice-cream. It is not entirely clear whether she has been eating the ice-cream herself or is holding it for someone else, unseen, who is busy elsewhere. Her mind certainly does not appear to be on the ice-cream.

Across the page is the phrase Mini size, maximum pleasure.

At the bottom of the page is: In multiples of six. Odd phrase that, reminds me of something that I can't quite pin down.

Anyway, I came across this page and, can you believe it, someone in a remarkable imitation of my wife's handwriting, has written 'HA HA HA HA!'

I asked Mrs Newbery if she knew anything of this and she said 'No dear, of course not dear'. I have no reason to doubt her but there is this lingering suspicion that someone is taking a shot at me. Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean I am wrong.

But it would seem that, regardless of their abilities regarding size and pleasure, they do seem to provide a little amusement.

To some people, at least.

Yours distressed, but not too sure why,

J. Cosmo Newbery.

Mmm. Not the most flash reply:

Thank you for contacting us about Magnum Almond Minis. (I didn't mention almonds. JCN.)

We appreciate your feedback regarding our advertising as we use consumer's comments to assist in evaluating the performance of our products and advertising.

We use various forms of media to advertise our products and apologise if you have found the nature of the advertisements offensive...