14th Mar 2004 The advertisement said 'Another day at the office', I wanted to work there too. View large

Dear Sir,

I was minding my own business, flipping through a magazine, and my eyes fell upon your advertisement for the LG Wireless Notebook.

'Another day at the office' it said.

It showed a gentleman and a lady (I use both terms with caution) enjoying a degree of close physical proximity. He is looking into her eyes, she is looking into his eyes, their physical juxtaposition suggests a certain familiarity not found in most offices and I venture that any deals about to be consummated are most probably not business ones.

Neither are sharing any close proximity to the notebook computer , the erstwhile reason for the ad, some distance away from them on the grass. It is sulking, I suspect. Certainly it appears to be in the stocks, literally and figuratively.

A number of questions went through my mind: whose computer was it? His? Or hers? Neither? Just what sort of office did they originate from? How did they find that much grass in a drought? How come no-one's nicked the computer? (They'd never notice.) What happened to his tie? Why did they bother bringing the computer at all? Does it have a web-cam? Are they aware of the possibility of computer viruses? Firewalls, possibly ribbed, are a query, too. But I kept coming back to one question:

How do I get a job in that office?

Your enviously,

J Cosmo Newbery.