Nov 21st, 2005. The ad implied that Kleenex toilet tissues were like clouds. I guess they meant 'soft' but there are other characteristics of clouds... View large

Dear Sir,

Of late I have been seeing a Kleenex advertisement along the road sides that shows a small, cute puppy looking up at three clouds in the sky. Closer inspection shows the clouds to be loose balls of toilet paper. The caption reads:

Raising softness to new heights.

I assumed that you referred to the puppy, as it looks quite delightful and cuddly. Mind you, it is probably a cunning design ploy to make you keep them long enough to become attached to them before they morph into an overweight, slobbering creature that can remove cream buns from a locked refrigerator by will-power alone.

You can imagine my surprise when les enfants Newbery corrected me on this matter and explained that the afore mentioned softness referred to the clouds.

I know something about clouds, as it happens.

They are cold. They are wet.

And you can poke your finger through them.

What are you, or those balding, pony-tailed gentlemen in your marketing department, trying to tell me about your toilet paper? And why?

Yours nebulously,

J Cosmo Newbery

REPLY: (Dec 2nd, 2005)...there is a perception that clouds are soft, therefore, in trying to communicate our softness message we chose clouds to liken our toilet paper to.

I apologise if you found this advertisement misleading but it was not meant to be taken so literally...