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| 24th July, 2004 | The advertisement suggested that we are what we eat. How could this be? |  View large |
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Dear Sir,
I was puzzled by your recent advertisement for Dolmio sauces that said:
“Modern, Fresh, tasty. Well, you are what you eat.”
It seems to me that you are creating some enormous identity crises. If you are what you eat then what on earth are you? If I were to eat sheep's brains, would I become smarter? Or, as they are unused, dumber? Too close to call?
Lions eat gazelles, does that make them a gazelle? But gazelles eat grass. Does that make a Lion grass? Guinea pigs eat grass too. How can I tell them apart?
Chicken eat worms, so it follows that they must be worms. Surfers eat take-away chicken so they must be a chicken, but by dietary transmogrification they must really be a worm. Sharks eat surfers, therefore a shark is a surfer but we have already established that a surfer is really a worm doing chicken impressions so does that mean that a shark is worm?
I think I am getting the hang of your theory but it does give me some difficulties. For example, there are a couple of nagging questions:
How can I really be what I eat if I don't eat tripe?
And what on earth have our political leaders been eating?
Yours anxiously,
J Cosmo Newbery.