April 18th, 2004 Princess Tikka feels the need to give an assessment of President George Walker Bush.

My Goodly Mr President,

I am being in a position to be recounting to you a most oddly occurrence that happened to me most recently. A gentleman was approaching me in the open ground and was saying “You are a miserable little shit!” I am telling you that I was being most startled by my receiving this information as I was being feeling most jolly in the preceding interval. Such is being the spirit of public disclosures.

But just as the inside surfaces of the clouds can be covered with shiny metals I was propelled towards the view that I should also be telling people what I am thinking of them. I am feeling that it is being appropriate to be telling you also firstly.

There are being those who are being of the opinion that you are being a paisa short of a rupee but I am not being one of these people as I am being full of convictions that the paisa is being greatly undervalued.

There are being peoples who are affirming you to be a greatly Christian man but I am thinking that they have not been asking Mr Christian of his opinions upon this matter as I suspect he would be presenting his cheeks to you alternately in a manner that appears contrary to your own presentations. I am believing that you are being a disciple of a god of much more vengeance and smite than the humble Mr Christian.

No, Mr The President, I am being of the feeling that you are being so far into yourself that you are being a figurine of your own personal nomenclature. You are being a man who is being a walker, a pedestrian man who is being most boldly putting his foot into moist things on the sidewalks of life and having no concerns for the carpets of his father's wife. Please be taking this in the spirits in which it is meant.

I am being your most obedient servant,

Tikka Masala.